I used to create scrapbooks when I was younger. No, not last week. More like my teens and early twenties. I would rip pages out of magazines (NOT in my doctor's waiting room . . . I have a thing about that. I hate getting to the end of an article during a long wait only to find the page is missing) and catalogs and compile them in spiral craft books with thick, cardboard-y pages. I still have every single one of them in my basement. Should I be embarrassed to admit this? Every so often I'll crack open the tote that houses my books, sit on the floor, and go through them. What I find so incredibly interesting is that thirty-one year old me could have created them. She doesn't have the time. Or perhaps I have a sleep disorder that induces the unconscious use of a glue stick. The same hopes and desires are contained within. My taste in home decor and fashion aren't too different, either.
I still love this makeup look. I spent 1/2 hour looking for the lipstick online after taking this photo. Considering this was published in 2001, it wasn't surprising that I didn't find it. |
I still like bagels, strawberries and washing my hair. I'm still waiting for the body to wear that outfit. |
They are like bound vision boards. Only before there were "vision boards." The Secret hadn't been invented and I had no other influence other than my own desires, ideas, and inspirations. I still rip out a page in a magazine or catalog when a photo, article, or outfit strikes my fancy. In fact, I have a folder in my desk that houses them. I may have given up the habit of compiling them into books, but I haven't abandoned the content. You see, long ago, I believed in the power of positive thought. I still do. I'm not talking magic here. It's a spiritual journey of my own religion. I see an outfit or home or destination and use it as motivation to accomplish my goals. My dream job? A place to wear that incredible skirt. Financial freedom? The way to finance that perfect home and its perfect kitchen. I can't attain any of those things if I don't stay motivated and finish my degrees. You get the point. As I go through these books, I'm always amazed by how many of the wants and goals have come to fruition. When created, these books contained only dreams. Now they contain a lot of realities.
I've eaten lobster. In Maine. More than once. |
I've stayed in places along the Maine coast. This island has been added to the list. I live only a few hours away. |
I became Pinterested a little late in the game. I had seen friends' posts on Facebook declaring that they'd pinned a photo to a board. I had no idea what that meant. In the process of researching how to promote this blog, Pinterest came up a lot. Because I am a very visual person and therefore write photo-filled posts, it seemed like the perfect fit. The first night I spent three hours exploring and creating and pinning. I entered some sort of Pinterest vortex. Time just disappeared. Then I realized something: What I was doing was a familiar task! Pinterest is essentially a digital version of my scrapbooks. I've come full circle! No wonder I get sucked in and can't stop. It has allowed me to compile new desires and goals, which are important. Perhaps forty-one year old me will look back at them and see what I see now: Completion.
I met the guy. Not the baby. |
This is not to say that everything in my books has become a reality. I came across this page today and felt a little pang of . . . something. I'm not sure what. I've decided not to have another child and I've been coming to terms with that decision for a while now. But in some ways I feel as if I'm letting down young me . . . the girl that had a baby but also looked forward to the chance to do it right. On her own terms. I suppose some dreams are better left unfulfilled. I still have a lot left to accomplish, though. What a boring existence I'd have if I wasn't working toward anything!
Thoughts? Feelings? Insights?
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