Lately. As in, January.

This last Sunday I tackled the snarled mess otherwise known as my camera roll. Two months worth of snaps were clogging up precious GBs and something had to be done (seriously iPhone 6... four hundred photos and you're full?). So I went about transferring photos from the VSCO app back to my camera roll and my camera roll to the Cloud and from the Cloud to my computer. (Is there a simpler way to do this, I ask).

In the process I realized I was creating January and February photo folders simultaneously. And while most of us would be just fine skipping the first month of the year altogether, it still exists. (Should we start a petition?) Events took place and I have the photos to prove it.

Because I live by the motto "It didn't happen if you don't have an iPhone photo to prove it", I'm dumping January right here on this page. All of it. Even though New Years feels like three months ago, it wasn't. (I chalk this up to the fact that I forgot to take my Vitamin D pills for, like, four days straight. SAD is real my friends. So is self-diagnosis via WebMD.) (Also, that isn't actually my motto. I made it up just then. But I'm seriously considering using it as the tagline on my business card. If and when I get one.)

What I'm saying is, life happened. And it looked very similar to this, only slightly less filtered.

Meal planning. It really does exist outside of the blogosphere. It's rather wonderful in that it makes me look and feel especially domestically inclined. It also distracts from the fact that I seldom never vacuum.

The sunrises lately. My goodness. They're making Sunset look bad.

Pacific Northwest fog is quite magical and mysterious. Our street has been looking especially Privet Drive-ish as of late.

If Vista had a Twitter feed, he'd be right up there with Katy Perry in number of followers. He's such a card.

Where have hot pots been all my life? It has been declared: Our next house is going to have a built-in hot pot station. Also, see how seriously Mario takes his hot potting?

Pho comes in at a close second. Homemade or otherwise.

Every home should have a Thinking Fez. Obviously.

I wasn't planning on attending the Costa Rica trip until the second week of January. Our childcare fell through, the timing was off yada yada yada I decided to go after all. So the fact that my passport expires soon + has my maiden name (understandable since we've only been married 8.5 years) became a bit of a concern. (I'm lucky to have made it in and out of Rio last year with all my passport shenanigans. I dodged the bullet that is Brazilian prison.)

Anywho, all this hemming and hawing meant a trek up to the passport office in Seattle to get that bad boy expedited. Which meant a day in Seattle. Which is never cause for complaint.

I heart you, Seattle. 

(And Mario.) 

(And Storyville Coffee.)

(Not necessarily in that order, though it depends on the day.)

A drive up to Seattle calls for a squirrel mask. Duh.

An authentic Mexican food stand is worth its weight in gold. I want to plant a big fat kiss on the cook every time I take a bite of one of his burritos. (You're welcome for that bit of mental imagery.)

Gah! These two. For ever and ever and ever. Amen.

 I started and finished a craft project in the span of two days. A personal best. Husband ate a little crow... though with several totes in the garage full of craft projects in various stages of completion, who can blame his skepticism when I declare my undying love for a cross-stitch otter.

Teva ankle boots. For ever and ever and ever. Amen.

Dill Havarti + smoked salmon + rice crackers for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Not enough brew in the world to keep me functioning. And I live in the coffee capital of the United States.

Graffiti art that blows my mind every. single. time.

It's was real, January.

Lately. As in, January.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Friday's a free day. A woman's day.

Neil Gaiman

I'm in this weird Oh, look at that. Another week has passed. mode. Mario will be home today and we'll spend the weekend as a family. But Fridays don't signify another week of classes down, a break from work, or being a week closer to x, y and zed... so on. It's a day. And that's weird. Still, turning off the alarm completely on Friday morning in preparation for the weekend is pretty awesome. 

What was the point of that paragraph? Your guess is as good as mine. Let's move on.

Here's a look at a few things that have made this week stellar:

1// This kid. I say that all the time. But gosh is he some kid. 2// I'm finally up to 2010 in terms of advancing my technological prowess. That's right: a Bluetooth keyboard for my iPad. No more lugging my 20lb laptop around. I can do some bonafide blogging with it now. (I've had the Blogsy app for a long time but couldn't get over the hurdle of the tap screen keyboard. Now I'm really cooking with oil.) 3// It's true love. I picked the Boscia black cleanser as a 100-point bonus from Sephora a month or so ago and fell hard. It gets hot when you rub it on your face! Magic! This hydrating gel is no exception. Softer than a baby's butt around here. 4// Hello, beautiful. As I mentioned earlier this week, I bought a new lens. A 17-55mm to fill the gap between my macro and telephoto lenses (and replace the standard one that came with the camera). Holy moly is this thing awesome. It's my first Sigma lens, as I've stayed pretty loyal to Nikon, but I have a hard time believing they can make a better lens than this one. My collection is complete! (I think I'm becoming a real photography nerd!) 5// I've been feeling dangerous lately. I don't wear lipstick very often, but appreciate what a great color can do. I also think trying to find the right shade online is an impossible vortex you may never get out of. After a return and lots of perusing, I found this one. This picture doesn't do it justice... it is a deep berry that is universally flattering. It's definitely for evening wear, so I may have to establish regular date nights so I can wear it with abandon. Oh, and so I can bond with my husband. [Manna Kadar lipstick in Street Smart] P.S. I am certainly not the selfie queen. They are awkward-looking and I always have google eyes in them. Can I still be a blogger?

Have a great weekend!

[Linking up with Lauren]

Friday's a free day. A woman's day.

Friday, January 17, 2014

I made no resolutions for the New Year.

The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.

Anaïs Nin

I realized today that I've been procrastinating about writing my new year/clean slate post. Not because I was forcing a post that simply wasn't in the wings, but because I wanted it to be written with intention. To delve a little deeper as opposed to just scratching the surface. I want to be able to look back at this post in the coming years and have it mean something. To have it really reflect where I was and where I will be. Reflection, I believe, will be integral to a better understanding of what I want and where to go from here. My heart's desires are often harder to understand than one might think.

I'm not one for New Year's resolutions. Not because I think they are setting oneself up for failure... they just aren't for me, personally. To each their own. I just know changes have to be big to be effective and long lasting. (Again, in my case.) I have to have a solid purpose. Simply hanging a new calendar above my desk isn't sufficient to elicit real change. Wanting to be skinnier will never be enough to prompt regular gym visits or healthy eating. There has to be more. Wishing for weight loss is to just scratch the surface. Dealing with what led to that extra layer of insulation is the issue that must be sorted out. Dig deeper, always.

I put a lot of pressure on 2013. I envisioned all kinds of drastic changes. What I realized, after a mini-crisis of sorts, is that it was a staging year. It prepared me for what is to come. While amazing things certainly happened in the past 12 months--life changing things--my existence, as it is now, still resembles what it did a year ago. The skies didn't open up and reveal everything. Did I really think they would? But, you know, we set ourselves up for such disappointment. Unrealistic expectations are the root of a lot of heartache, in my opinion.

A while back I stumbled upon a journal-type notebook, stashed in the back of a desk drawer. Only the first page contained writing; a list. It is not so much a bucket list as a life list. It has some of the standards: learn a different language, see the world, etc. Cliche or not, they're staying put. I've always wanted to speak Spanish well, and should therefore never stop aiming for fluency.

I imagine I wrote that list about 7 years ago. And by the time of its rediscovery, I could cross off 3 of the 10 items, all of which I accomplished in the last 12 months. Those 3 items, written by a rather different woman than the one before you, will be the foundation for 2014:

1// Graduate from college and get your dream career. On December 14, 2013, I said goodbye to my undergrad years. A mom to a rather fastidious kiddo and the wife of a traveling businessman, the road to academia was a bumpy one. I've talked about this journey from time to time. (Or in every post. Who's counting.) A lot of hard, painful things appear easier than they were thanks to some time and distance. This isn't one of those things. I ran on fumes for 4.5 years. I'll never forget how hard it was... which serves to fuel the final push to get through grad school. These last few years will not be for nothing. Eye on the prize. The next 12 months will involve applications and essays and uncertainty. And hopefully an acceptance letter. I also hope to score a job I can love to fill the in-between period. Above all, I intend to bask in the pride that comes with a great accomplishment. I'm very prone to the what now? syndrome. I didn't grow up in a home where college was encouraged. The older I got, the less I thought it would happen. But boy did I want it to. Another resolution? Don't ever underestimate my capabilities. Sheer determination and willpower drove me down this road.  

Imagine what else I can do if I want it bad enough...

2// Find fitness. Find a happy size and stay there. Okay, so I didn't accomplish the last part. But I still crossed it off. Because somewhere along the way size stopped mattering. And really, that was the goal, wasn't it? Have I found total body happiness? Nah. But I found fitness. Never before have I wanted to work out. I don't claw my way in the door or mimic a hamster on a wheel day after day. I work harder than I ever thought possible and challenge my body in ways I never foresaw. And it responded. My wide shoulders and hips have a purpose: to work. To lift heavy things. To amaze me. If only the 20-year old me had known they served a greater purpose than to make me self-conscious. I will never be a size 6. Ever. But I can deadlift 240 pounds after only a few short months of practice. I like that number much better anyway.

3// Find a hobby you will love forever. Just over a year ago, I unwrapped a camera for Christmas. A beautiful creature with the potential to take amazing photos. It has given me the opportunity to tap into my creative side in ways a formal education often neglected. I'll admit, I've only just begun experimenting with the manual setting. I didn't understand what the different aperture and speed settings meant for a very long time. Heck, I didn't know what aperture meant a year ago. What I do know is that I love photographing things. My family, food, nature... the whole wide world around me. When seen through the eye of a camera lens, everyday things have the power to amaze. This week I (gulp) bought the final lens to round out my collection (and a new case... I'm still a bit queasy about the amount of money we plunked down, though I expect to have these things for many, many years). It isn't a particularly cheap hobby, that's for sure. But the fulfillment I get from it rivals all other past hobbies combined. I'm using this in-between time to study it. Learn it. Do it some justice by totally disregarding the auto setting. (Jenni, at Story of My Life, is one of my favorite photographers. I've spent oodles of time admiring her amazing shots and mentally noting the qualities they possess that I'd love to emulate in my own photography. She has mentioned using the Extremely Essential Camera Skills to get started, so I thought it'd be a great place for me to begin as well. My goal is to finish it before our trip to Rio next month.)

There is one other thing that wasn't on the list but that I work toward every day. Not a resolution, but rather an ongoing goal that will likely be carried over from year to year:

4// Go a little easier on myself. I would never place such unreasonable expectations on others. Letting myself off the hook once in a while or saying no to someone is not a sign of weakness. I don't have to be everything to everyone all the time. Nor do I want to. Perfection is overrated. So stop it already.

Rather than reinventing the wheel, or my life as it were, I'm going to continue focusing on these goals in 2014. Why stop here? Why heap on more goals when I can expand on existing accomplishments? Maybe this will be the year that I achieve the second half of the second goal. I'll never know if I move on after merely scratching the surface.

I made no resolutions for the New Year.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Oh my, it's Friday

...which means I'm a mere five days away from my very last final. Yahoo! I'm ready. No I'm not. I need more time! So much to do, so much to do. I can't wait to have an empty calendar. (Until eventual boredom sets in, of course. Having nothing to do long term always sounds better in theory, no?)

Even though the pressure climbs with each passing day, and this will be a weekend chock full of responsibilities, I'm celebrating the passing of another week. However, once I'm free as a bird I want things to slow down so I may properly enjoy them. Because I should be able to control the passage of time. Totally reasonable.

1// I've been practically living in my favorite coffee shop. I spent about 7 hours camped out there the other day. True story. I love the vibe, but also the fact that I can get good food (i.e. I don't have to leave to sate my hunger midday). Their breakfast and lunch sandwiches are off the hook. I simply don't feel the same way about Starbucks (though I wish that weren't true). 2// I've really been trying to avoid biting my nails. I've gnawed them into nubs since the age of six, so I have to be conscious about falling back into old habits... especially when I'm stressed or nervous (I nipped it in the bud a couple years ago). The answer: always keep my nails painted. I was short on time the other night and opted for this glittery topcoat. It's so festive. I feel like a Disney princess. 3// Every year the boys and I each find an ornament that represents the past year. Kiddo fell in love with Dr. Who, so he chose a dalek ornament. (It's a robot thingy.) I wanted to recognize my graduation, but nothing was striking my fancy. I wanted something unique... and finally found it in this vintage owl graduation ornament on Etsy. It's really charming and quirky. 4// Mario and I randomly stepped into the local camera shop and were introduced to this Nikon telephoto lens for my camera. Someone was upgrading to a more powerful lens, so I scored this barely used one for less than half the normal price. I can't wait to stretch its legs! 5// This guy. I'm going to miss him. Apparently he told me he was going to be gone for 10 days straight, but I mentally blocked that fact. I did, however, score a quick dinner date involving fish tacos last night while Kiddo was at fencing. It's the little moments, you know?

Happy Friday!

Oh my, it's Friday

Friday, December 6, 2013

This, that and the other.

This is one of those weeks where writing about a single topic seems insurmountable. Where attempting to organize my thoughts into a fluid post is a battle I won't win. So yet again, here's a post about what is on my mind as of late. A scary prospect, indeed.

Mario has been unreachable this week, so I've been flying solo. He travels a lot, and has for the 9+ years he's had this job, so this is nothing new. But trips to his company's headquarters are different. They mean a 3 hour time difference and nonstop meetings. I think I've heard his voice a combined total of 90 seconds in the last 24 hours. These are the weeks that remind me of his status as my best friend. I like discussing my day with him. Using him as a sounding board. Co-parenting with him. I miss him. Fortunately he'll be taking the red-eye home tonight and I'll be seeing his face tomorrow morning.

On top of single parenting, I've been fighting a cold. I am not a wuss by any means. Quite the opposite, in fact. But I've been wiped. After having so many breakthroughs in CrossFit last week, the last thing I want to do is lose my footing. But I had to stop, reevaluate, and realize that forcing myself to go when I have body aches and congestion is just plain dumb. I won't get much out of the class, and I'll leave feeling beaten and discouraged. My body is clearly telling me to take it easy. Why do that to my relationship with a workout I am connecting with... perhaps for the first time? I'm ever so slowly learning that it's okay to admit I don't have the capacity to tackle something. Realizing my limitations is not a sign of weakness, and I'll return tomorrow morning, having taken a couple classes off, ready to pick up where I left off. 

 

This weekend brings Pumpkin Fest, an annual event in our town. Each year we compete to regain the World Record for the most lit jack 'o lanterns at one time (a status lost to a town in Illinois many years back). The whole town gets together. Yesterday the kids took to the schoolyard and carved over 130 pumpkins to submit. Kiddo's school also sets up a food stand and sells pulled pork sandwiches, pumpkin soup, apple crisp, and cider. It's one of the biggest fundraisers of the year. Friday will bring hours of peeling apples and pulling pork. Saturday night will be spent as a family, walking around looking at the miles of carved pumpkins. It's one of my favorite things about living here. 

source

I'm having a serious pant crisis. I am between sizes right now, so my current pants look saggy and ill-fitting. I have many pairs of jeans in the next size down, survivors of our purge because they are so close to fitting, but I'm not quite there yet. I've vowed not to get caught up in dieting anymore, instead choosing to consume with intention. I'm a few days in to my 30-Day Paleo Challenge (put on through my local CrossFit), and am hoping it, along with regular workouts, will help shed the mere couple inches necessary to reach the next size down. In the meantime, I need something to wear that doesn't require constant pulling up. So yesterday I stopped by Kohl's (nothing I tried on struck my fancy), Maurice's (I'm not a fan of the crazy embellished back pockets... I don't mind it on others, it's simply not my thing), and finally Target (too low-waisted, a little too big or too small). I've essentially exhausted my local resources. Perhaps a visit to Old Navy is in order (though last time I wasn't impressed). 

I am really not that picky! I think this conundrum all stems from a serious commitment I made to only buying things that fit me now, thus escaping the if I lose 5 pounds it will fit perfectly trap I've fallen into most of my adult life. If I lose weight, great, but I am unwavering when it comes to abandoning a love-hate relationship with food, exercise and clothing. Any suggestions on some cute, inexpensive in-between jeans?

This week I have gone about releasing some anxiety about my class and research. My cells are alive and growing again on the first go (yeah!), and I'm training someone to take over for me in December; which has proven challenging but also fun. Instead of getting bogged down by the difficulty of my current class, I'm starting to look forward to the freedom that will come in just a month and a half. Although there is a lot of work to be done between now and then, once I walk out of the final I will be free to do a lot of the things I've abandoned over the last few years. I've discussed this before, but I'm excited to devour my reading list, to pick up some lost hobbies, and to gain the ability to leave work and actually leave it. No more late night study sessions, Sundays spent with my head in a book at Starbucks, and exam anxiety. 

Kiddo's class is going to learn how knit and put a call out for needles and yarn this week. As I was stopping by local thrift stores in search of some to donate (7 pairs for $2!), I realized how much I miss having a skill like that. At one time I was crazy about crochet, but never advanced beyond scarves and blankets before giving it up. 

It's so easy to forget how close I am. More school is in my future, but I'm going to really try to enjoy the in-between... which is mere weeks away. 

Goals:

• Read one book a week. For pleasure.
• Finally learn how to use Photoshop properly. Start by dusting off the how-to book Mario bought me on the subject.
• Take an online photography class. Use my tripod. There are some great online photography courses. The time to turn my camera to manual and leave it there has long since passed.
• Fully commit to overall health. I'm on my way to this, but adding a 4th fitness class during the week and making a long-term commitment to weeding out food sensitivities/eating clean are musts.
• Pick up a new or old hobby. Candy Crush Saga is not a hobby. Have Kiddo teach me his new found kitting skills; attempt to crochet something other than straight rows, like a hat (and wear it proud... even if it's lopsided); needle felting ornaments for family this year; take a sewing class... the possibilities are endless.
• Date my husband. Weekly or at least biweekly. Kiddo isn't going to be at home forever, as we have faith that he won't be playing Dungeons and Dragons in our basement bedroom at the age of 40, so it's about time we got used to spending alone time together. It's good to enjoy the company of the person you share a bed with. And to see grownup movies that do not have "Marvel Comics" in the opening credits once in a while.
• Figure out what the fuss over The Walking Dead, Breaking Bad and numerous other shows is all about.

This, that and the other.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Autumn seemed to arrive suddenly that year.

 The morning of the first September was crisp and golden as an apple...

J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

I find that it is far too easy to get lost in the humdrum of daily obligations. Tunnel vision develops. Get up, get Kiddo ready, drop him off at school, go to class, run errands, pick Kiddo up, drive to the Y for lessons, make dinner... lather, rinse, repeat. How will I get to CrossFit? If I move this, I can do it here. But then this has to budge. When will I find time to... ?  My life often seems lived in hours rather than in days, weeks and years. This is something I struggle with as I often feel like I lose a bit of personal freedom when I don't allow tomorrow and the next day to arrive organically. While planning is important, over planning stifles my creativity and, sometimes, my optimism.

When last Saturday rolled around I was ready to roam. Aimlessly. I also realized I hadn't picked up my camera in some time. It's my lifeline in a way, a means of seeing outside what can become a rather narrow view of my daily existence. We quickly tidied up the house, in the event we got a call about a showing, and headed out. 

We wandered in a general direction and ended up at an orchard we visited once several years ago. Unlike the two larger orchards we frequent, this is a small boutique orchard with many unique, unfamiliar varieties of apples. Arkansas Black was my personal favorite, as it looked like it came straight out of a fairy tale. We left with a peck of fun new flavors and colors only nature could create.

I missed seeing the world through my camera's lens. I see textures, angles, and colors I might otherwise overlook. We are in the heart of a New England fall, our last, and it would have been a shame to view it solely from the driver's seat of my car while heading to and fro. To view such beauty passively as opposed to total immersion is to rob myself of a certain joy that rolls around but once a year. Today brought stormy weather and fierce winds which served to scatter the colorful foliage like confetti. Thank goodness I had that much-needed moment of clarity and stepped outside of my head... or I may have missed it altogether.

Although the sky was overcast, and Mother Nature felt a bit melancholy, it was an amazing day. The rain held back, sensing that I needed those few hours outside. The temperature was blissfully mild. I went into my week feeling renewed. 

 

 

Autumn seemed to arrive suddenly that year.

Monday, October 7, 2013